How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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