So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
