She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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