I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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