I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
