He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
