I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
