I wish i was in the wii world.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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