We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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