i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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