Pregnant stripper...not hot.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
