You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
