i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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