morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
