Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize