i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
