very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
