my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
