I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
