you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
