its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
