oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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