I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
