I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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