get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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