she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
