this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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