We're facebook friends in real life
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I want a musical about memes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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