Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
