I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
