I need help removing her.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
