My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Randomize
