i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
