That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
