Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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