god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
