good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
