So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just want nice things and good sex
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
