i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
