every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
