saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
