And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
whose ass print is on the piano?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
