i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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