the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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