bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
