If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
