I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
