I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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