I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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