Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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