so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
