Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
